Just smile and wave

Whilst out in the Alps again I was splitting my time between the medics I came on holiday with and my old friends from last season who were across the valley. I spent a couple of nights with each, and awkward moments were abundant on both sides….of course!

My nights with the medics were spent in a similar way to many people who go on uni trips – lots of dressing up and compulsory drinking. On my penultimate night with the medics the theme was “onesies”; for those who live under a rock a onesie is like wearing a jersey material shell suit, its completely enclosed with a long zip down the front. The problem of being completely hemmed in will become apparent later.

Onesie night went much like many others – drinking, dancing, more dancing.. etc…. (and for anyone who’s seen my dancing you know that’s an awkward moment all of its own) Later in the evening I was in the queue for the loo with a girlfriend and we decided to go into a cubicle together to save time, I watched the wall while she peed and then all swap and she watched the wall while I did the same.

Until…. she got bored and opened the door onto the whole multisex bathroom who turned to look at me, on the loo. I was wearing my onesie but of course to go to the loo it has to be pulled round by the ankles, so I was caught peeing in front of everyone in my underwear.

I have had a great many awkward moment in my life but this has to come in my top 5. I didn’t know what to do while everyone was actually pointing and laughing, it was like something out of a rubbish American high-school teen rom-com movie! And the worst part was I didn’t know what to do with myself, I certainly couldn’t stand to shut the door, so I just…… waved! Yes, I did a double handed wave and a thumbs up like an idiot.

From this episode I have learned; never wear a onesie out unless you’re prepared to wear full clothing underneath, never trust another person in a toilet cubicle and devise a response in advance in case you’re ever caught on the loo with no clothes on!

A new season with so many more awkward opportunities!

I’ve decided to re-open this blog even though I’m (unfortunately) not doing another season. I am now trying to get a masters at university in London but of course I am constantly desperate to get back out to the snow! So, when in freshers week I saw an advert to go out for cheap with the university medics I jumped at the chance. I saw the medics as an economical means to an end to get back out and pretend to be a seasonnaire for another week. However, I hadn’t thought this through carefully enough… things like the 25 hour coach journey with people I didn’t know and staying in a hotel room with 3 other strangers. Awkward.

The bus was due to leave from Hammersmith at 9pm so my mother kindly drove me and parked round the corner from the drop off point in viewing distance. The awkwardness grew inside me until I couldn’t get out of the car, especially not with about 3 or 4 people I didn’t know standing there, and no bus to get on and hide! Picture the scene – my mother and I crouching and hiding in the car 100 yards away from a collection of laughing students ready to go on holiday together, as friends. We peaked over the dashboard occasionally to see if the coach had arrived and giggled awkwardly. When the bus finally did arrive the only thing I had to do was get me and my bags across the tarmac…..easier said than done. In all I had a handbag, bootbag, skibag, and suitcase also adorned with ski jacket, hat and scarf.

Things went everywhere. I had bags hanging off my arms and around my neck while I dragged myself up to the medics and they looked at me like I was a grotesque lurch character from the adams family! All in all a good introduction to how my week was to continue. The next social minefield to negotiate was where to sit on the coach. Add to this problem the fact that I get motion sick and need to be right at the front like a child; there you have me, on the first row, on my own.

This is just a starter taster for the new few posts about my awkward week, so “stay tuned” for stories about my sleeping arrangements, being farted on and being watched on the loo….