An introduction to awkwardness

Hello, my name is Laura and I am an awkward person. 

You see, most of the general public seem to be able to swan through life without  being too aware that each individual moment has the potential create a situation where you want to curl up and die and then be swallowed into the earth. I am not one of those people. This may sound a tad melodramatic but I’m sure everyone has had at least one moment in life where they’ve done or said something inappropriate, been caught and then felt a mixture of burning shame and embarrassment. Due to an assortment of social ineptitude, tactlessness and a loud voice this seems to happen to me more than most. After years of confusion I am now aware of my affliction and so I’m always on the lookout for life’s awkward moments and when I’m not watching for them I usually find myself slap bang in the middle of one!

These moments usually go like this - the awkward comment/action is committed and noticed by everyone but me…..silence……. then realisation followed by sweating, panicking and finished with a swift back-pedal which, 9 times out of 10, makes the situation worse.  Then finally I go and hide somewhere to carry out the awkward dance. The awkward dance is a special action in the life of any socially strained person, it usually involves limb flailing, curling into a ball while standing and then wiggling – it sounds like hard work but it is the only thing which makes me feel a little better and releases the tension from the previous ordeal.  So now that you understand the outcomes of my day to day interactions, can you follow my logic in applying for a job abroad in the tourism and service industry!?

I understand I am not the only person who feels this way, I’m sure across the globe there are a few lonely soles hiding in toilets and cupboards doing their own awkward dances. This blog is for those people, as a guide to surviving a ski season without spontaneously combusting from awkwardness and as a way of keeping friends and family updated on my daily humiliations.

I am currently out in a popular resort in the French Alps working for a mid-sized company and doing a chalet-host job which involves being the public face of the chalet, dealing with the guests and a hell of a lot of cleaning! I’ve only been out a week so far but if you think this is too short a time for some serious awkward moments then you truly don’t understand the life of a SAP (socially awkward person) So here, l’ll show you what I mean.