As most awkward moments pass by fleetingly (yet stay with me for many hours after!) they don’t warrant a full post, which is why this post will be a collection of some of the smaller yet more mortifying times of the last week.
Tidying up
Much of what I find awkward passes other people by, but this incident will make even the most shameless person squirm. This week I’ve had my first guests and of course when you gather a group of people together to be looked after by 2 strangers the first few conversations can be stilted and difficult. A practiced and experienced chalet girl will be able to cope and help the tea time conversation flow but a fledgling cleaner like myself will make a giant awkward tit of herself. The conversation went something like this:
Guest – “oh so have you come to this resort before?”
Me – “ yes, in fact I actually stayed with this very company that I’m working for now!”
Guest – “oh wow, what’s that like then?”
Me – “well its quite weird being on the other side of the tracks, it makes me wish I’d tidied up more when I stayed!”
Guest – “….oh….what are you trying to say….”
I followed this comment with a desperate back pedal and lots and lots of apologies, I don’t think they worked….the guest in question still seems pretty awkward around me!
Ski Safety
On the slopes there are two types of “looks” - cool and stylish (snowboarder) or warm and safe (badly fitting clothes and a helmet) and I definitely fall into the second category. So picture me looking like this, and lumbering along the road in my ski boots with all the grace and balance of a one legged giraffe. I had hit a particularly icy patch of road when a small and hobbitty French man approached me and started speaking fluent and scary French. I look around me in bewilderment assuming he must be talking to someone else and not the obvious tourist! However he then realises that of course the silly foreigner doesn’t speak his language and he changes to English
“Do you feel safe on your skis?”
“eerrr, yes?”
“well you obviously don’t feel safe in your ski boots, and I find this strange”
And then before I could even react to his odd comment he’d walked on his way to perplex and amuse more unsuspecting English girls!
The Wide Mouth Frog
You know those times when you tell what you think is an amazing joke but then no one else finds it funny? This happens to me quite often, for example
“what do you call a chicken in a shell suit?”
“an egg”
Yes, exactly. I can hear you NOT laughing. Well, the only thing worse than telling the awful joke is telling the joke that no one finds funny and then being asked to repeat the joke over and over because your friends think the silent reaction and your “way of telling it” is hilarious! The joke in question is the “Wide Mouth Frog Joke” I’m sure you can find it on YouTube and see how its meant to be told. The awfulness of this joke and my “way” has preceeded me and has culminated in a bar man actually asking to hear the “wide mouth frog joke” because apparently it’s so bad its good. Awkward. I just stood there and stared at him, and then swayed a little bit, and then turned a bright shade of puce.
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